He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
