Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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