Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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