This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
worst night to have a conscience
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
