the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize