I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
