I'm so fucking centered right now
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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