We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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