I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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