apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
