so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
