Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
