I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
