I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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