Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
