we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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