My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
