just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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