you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
