what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize