i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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