More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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