He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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