she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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