My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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