Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
this will be a night to untag.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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