Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
