My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
