I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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