he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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