Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
