i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
