Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Fuck appropriateness.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
