Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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