is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
