that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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