I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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