she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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