Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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