Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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