best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
