and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
