Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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