i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My ass is underappreciated
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
