she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He called his prostate his "boner button".
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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