what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
