you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
