u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
