it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The best revenge is premature balding
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
