I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
