The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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