Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
