There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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