piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
