Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
