think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is Oprah even human
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
